I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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