your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
