Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
