I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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