So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
