I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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