respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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