I accidentally had phone sex last night
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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