Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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