you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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