Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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