I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
