I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
