Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
