Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
