What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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