I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
