I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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