So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
