Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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