What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
