I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.