Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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