My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
