dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
