You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
