I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
These tits shall not be calmed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
