The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
where am i from again
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
