i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
