he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
