Need sex. Gaining weight.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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