Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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