Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize