I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
