He kissed a someone with a penis
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
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im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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