Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
