Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
