Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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