Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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