so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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