Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
