How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
