Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize