Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
how drunk are you?
Several
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
