Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize