i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize