Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
