Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
