Don't you send me to vm
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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