There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
