i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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