So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
