i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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