If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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