She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
