Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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