Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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