I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
