Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
