I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
