It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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