I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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