So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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