They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Someone came in the potted fern
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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